Smaug the GIANTSQUID--A machine-made LOTR fanfic (Complete with worldbuilding)

One Ring to Rule them All, An Unexpected Journey to Zod

Just what in the damn hell is a Two Ring? Well, as they say in the Hobbit, "Those who have seen the Ring cannot die, they are as enwrapped in it as the child in the bathtub." You remember the deep, dark depths the Ring plunged them into, but what makes it different to all the other Rings? Without getting into too much detail, the Ring of Power is not limited to using magic but also strong magic, mind power, psychological control, and a Third Eye to complement the First and Second Eyes. You also want to be fair though, just because you got the Force doesn't mean you're not biased and have to use that power to manipulate others. And then there's the well documented supernatural abilities of Gandalf the Grey and Smaug the Giantsquid. Having the Ring definitely grants you complete control over the populace so you can issue propaganda and defame your enemies, or you can just laugh at them. However, if you don't want to turn into a sick monster and start killing people for petty, non-violent disagreements, you need to understand the effects of your powers on the people around you. It's a sad truth that those under your rule will, at least to some degree, fall under your control. For example, Frodo Baggins wanted to assassinate Sauron. But instead, Frodo used the Ring's power to control all the Elves, and successfully got rid of Sauron. So this is why I believe every Sauron fan will love the movie (after all, it is supposedly an "epic fantasy"!) The only problem with this is that it's a pretty shaky situation: "The Ring gave us control, thus we never decided not to use it. While with the forces of evil Sauron showed us how valuable a mighty weapon can be, until we chose to use it to destroy him." Of course there are arguments both ways. But what I like about it is, it speaks to that ring-weary part of us all: "The Ring did you no good to anyone, except Gandalf the Grey and Smaug the Giantsquid." Another interesting point to make is that while the Ring lets you control others, it's still perfectly clear that you have no control over those people, even if you think you do. For example, the Ring used by Gandalf (in the movie) to take over Dol Guldur's priestesses does not have any direct effect on Sauron and even though it may let you create some sense of order to the chaotic nature of the Theon Arcana, it does not have any effect on the Order of the Dark Lord. Only Gandalf himself realized this and eventually began fighting Sauron on the side of the Light. In the much more technical literature on the Ring, they define the Ring as "a powerful magical artifact." However, when put in the context of the characters it makes sense: "The Ring does little to keep you grounded and focused in the here and now, it's not magic as such so much as it is magical power, influence and control. It belongs to someone, someone who cannot abide your whim or permission to wreak havoc in their name."

Thank you, Indiana Jones.